Space Chicken


Space Chicken is the thirteenth and final episode of Season 5 on Sonic For Hire, as well as the sixty-fifth episode in the series.


Go home, play chicken.


  • Fox: (Sonic and Fox are fighting inside the ship) Come on, Sonic! No more fucking around! Why don't we settle this thing like real fighter pilots?
  • Eggman: Shirtless beach volleyball! I call slider!
  • Fox: I call Iceman!
  • Sonic: We're not playing beach volleyball! That's fucking ridiculous! Where are we gonna get a regulation net at this hour? Let's just have another Space Race and see what happens.
  • Choir: ♪SPACE RACE!♪
  • Fox: Whoa, no, I'm not falling for that shit. How about Space Chicken?
  • Choir: ♪SPACE CHICKEN!♪
  • Sonic: You're on! Whoever swerves first has to leave the ship and buy the other guy a bucket of chicken! That's why they call this game Chicken, right?
  • Tails: I dunno, Sonic. Why don't we just give him his ship and go home?
  • Sonic: Home, Tails? What the hell's waiting for us back there except a crappy appartment and shitty jobs?
  • Eggman: I got a PHD in a huge laboratory.
  • Tails: Yeah, and I still have like shit tons of money from Cash Explosion.
  • Jim: You think I can crash at your place for a while?
  • Eggman: Oh yeah, sure! Hey, we should form an alliance of super villains and heroes and change the world forever! Or buy a quesidilla chuck and make quesidillas! (Everyone agrees, but Sonic is silent)
  • Sonic: Guys! Guys! Wait. Don't you realize that next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be at another school. Our parents want the bestest stuff for us. But right now they gotta do what's best for them. Because it's their time. Their time, up there! But down here, it's our time. Our time! And that's all over the second we ride up on Troy's bucket.
  • Tails: What the fuck are you talking about?
  • Sonic: I dunno, it's from Goonies. I thought it would relate. You win, McCloud. We'll go back home.
  • Gilius: (comes right in) Hey, hey, hey! Took me forever to find you fuckin' guys, but look who joined the par-tayy!!!
  • Tails: We're going back home.
  • Gilius: Fuck. (cuts outside the Great Fox, everyone crowded in Sonic's ship)
  • Earthworm Jim: Uh, why couldn't we just take our own ships?
  • Sonic: It's easier this way.
  • Tails: For what?
  • Sonic: To play Space Chicken!
  • Fox: (cuts inside the Great Fox) Oh, it's the best, dude! Fox poon as far as the eye can see!
  • General Pepper: Oh, I am so there! (Screen switches to Sonic's ship)
  • Fox: What the hell—look at this idiot!
  • Sonic: Let's go, McCloud!
  • Fox: Uh, dipshit, you sure you wanna do this?
  • Sonic: Nope, but fuck it. (Everyone is yelling and screaming as Sonic's ship hits the Great Fox; the ship crashes back to Earth, and breaks through Sonic's old house; everyone is groaning in pain) So... uh... who wants to watch some poster?